reminiscing the past

those simple words hit so hard,
they turned my whole world upside down,
girl, you caught me completely off guard,
on that night you said to me,
I just don't love you no more

Jonny Craig

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT?

...

hati masih tak terima ditinggalkan
masih tercari - cari bayangan
aku kehilangan mu

Another truth

I dreamt about you again last night. weird isn't it? how I wished it was for real. but the only real thing here is my tears roll down whenever I think of you, whenever I am in 'your' mood. it's been months, but I seem like running in a circle, running around you. what have you done to me? what have you given me in the past? whenever I tried hooking up, I failed. cause it's always you who appeared at the end of the winning line. I got to admit, you're the best i have ever had. you are the all time winner. but it's okay.. someone once told me, "If they don't want you anymore there is nothing you could do. let go. let them be happy." and so I did. I let go of you out of my life. it's now my time to let go of myself from yours. it's just another lie when I say I don't love you no more.

John Legend - Everybody knows

Random

it's been ages since I last wrote anything down here. got so many to tell but had no words to express. if you guys are wondering, I've been good. getting better is the exact expression. I was on a long rough road ever since I left Kuantan. it wasn't easy, at first. what would you feel when you know you have lost the only thing you have ever loved, the other half of your heart? no words can describe isn't it. you were a lover, a good friend. got to admit, it's really hard for me to let go of you, cause I don't want to, and cause everything seems to be reminding me of you. every move I make, every single thing I do, every song i listen to, everything. but i am learning, really hard. but no matter what happens, there will always be a part of me that loves you eternally. moving on, I worked my ass out for couple of months to get myself back on track. and I finally stepped my feet on one of the places in my travelling list. it was totally fun that it kind of helping me in taking a step away from the rough past. tomorrow will be the very first time of me working in a coffee shop. I wonder how will it be and honestly it's kinda scaring me out since I don't really know what to expect. but I think it'll be fun.. I mean working around food and drinks hehe. well if any of you guys are free, just come around and drop by yeah?

did you know?

how i wished you knew, that i miss the old us. where we were so excited of eachother, so caring about our love. i wonder how we lost them, when we are so truly in love. tell me, how. i remember us being so excited and happy whenever we're meeting eachother, how we wished time wasn't going that fast so we didn't have to say good bye at the end. i miss falling asleep by your side, kissing you all over the places just before closing my eyes, waking up to your side with you hugging me, kissing your cheeks and smell the morning smell of yours on your forehead. i miss too, making love to you with our sexy moves and ended them up cuddling and laughing together about our things. i miss laying down on bed with you everynight, without doing anything but just lay down and feel the warmth of your body. do you remember how we used to watch scary movies at night, just the two of us with food all over the floor? it's just so different now. you used to crawl down and snug beside me whenever you saw me laying down. you used to play songs with your guitar for me. you used to lay your head on my lap when you saw me on computer. we used to have fun in the bathroom together, and went out for dinner with smiles on our faces, left people wondering why. we used to irritate everyone around us with our happiness. looking at you now on your desk, reminds me of nothing but my deep love for you. we were just so good. nothing bad, no tears no harm, just love and laughs. i just miss all those small things we used to do. time is running so fast now and we don't have much time to just let it pass without spending it. how i wished you knew sayang, how i wished you knew the reason of me being here. i am here, for you. no other reasons.

just for you

do you know that i am crazy for you? i sayang you sangat-sangat, i can never imagine myself without you. sounds cliche kan, but i can't lie, that's what i am really feeling towards you. it is so real and true i hardly believe it myself. i am listening to slow songs, reminding me of our slow night before. you, me and smooth slow songs, nothing else. how we wished we were next to eachother, falling onto our backs with arms cuddling around eachother. i can't wait to start my days with you. i know, me going there to you isn't a bad move at all since that's what i've been wanting for a long time, since that's what i need to complete my days. you tau i tak boleh berpisah dengan you, tak boleh berjauhan dengan you even for a day or else i akan meragam. i hate it, i hate it for hurting you just because i want you. it's just plain stupid. but i can't help it b. i want you so much that i just need you next to me all the time. the thoughts of what's going to happen in the future are hurting and killing me inside but i know that you are always going to be there for me for as long as you live. so i am going to leave the sad thoughts aside for now and enjoy my every bit with you. i love you. i know you do too. and i know you do it like no one else does.